So many things can stop people from living the life they truly want to live, the major one being that as humans we are psychologically, emotionally, cognitively and spiritually hardwired for belonging, love and connection.
Connection, along with love and belonging (two expressions of connection), is why we are here, and for so many of us, it gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The only thing is, if you are to live the life you truly want to be living, then it might just mean having to back off and disengage from those around you, at least for a while anyway. Alternatively, it may even mean having to walk away from your old existence and those around you, as you set out on a new and better path for your life and work. But walking away from all that you know and the life you have been living can be tough. Tough for both you and those you are leaving behind. There may well be pain as you set out to live a new life, for as we are hardwired for connection, disconnection always causes us pain. What is happening now is that you are finding out who you really are as a person, not who you believe other people think you are or want you to be or become.
Now, it is no longer just a matter of fitting in. If you are to live your best life, it will have to be a life of belonging. Fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be so as to be accepted. Belonging does not require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. That happens when you live a life that is true for you; for when you do, you become true to who you really are and get to show your true colours. Belonging is being where you want to be and where other people want you for who you are; unlike fitting in, which can mean being somewhere where you really want to be, yet they do not care about your presence either way.
Deciding to figure out and go live the life you were born to live can often cause significant concern and worry to those around you, particularly if it means having to disengage from or walk away from all you know. Others may well worry that you are ‘giving up’ on life. It can appear to the world as if you are running away, when in fact you are now running to life, whatever they may think.
What can often be harder still is if your culture, community or background uses a measuring stick of particular acquisitions and accomplishments to assess a person’s worth. If this is the world you live in and the people with whom you associate, it will be a challenge to walk away from all this. Leaving the herd and safety of the life you know to live a new life is scary. This is why so few people do it.
If you want to follow up on what has been written here and get to read fourteen stories of people who figured out why they were born and learned to live their truth – and how you can too then please get a copy of my new book Showing Your True Colours